Don’t Wear Their Shame
Study The Word
Hebrews 12:2 (KJV)
“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
I want to talk about something subtle that can quietly derail a person who is walking in obedience to God. Listen carefully, because it is not your own shame; it is someone else’s.
Here is what I mean. Many times, you are not actually ashamed of your situation at all. You have made peace with it. You are content with the pace things are moving at. Maybe you started a business and stepped away from the steady nine-to-five. The cash flow might not look the way it used to, but you are at peace, because you know you are building something. You are exactly where God told you to be.
And then the questions start rolling in, often from those nearest and dearest to you. And slowly it becomes clear that they have a problem with your choice. Your decision makes them uncomfortable. It makes them feel a little ashamed that you are not following along with the usual script, society’s familiar norms. Or perhaps you made a decision that is genuinely best for your life, and not everyone is on board. You can feel it, can’t you? The cold stares. The disapproval. The silent judgment hanging in the air. You can sense other people’s shame about your situation, even when no one says a single word.
And here is where it gets dangerous: if you are not careful, you will pick up that shame, shame that was never yours to begin with, and you will start carrying it as your own. Please hear me. Don’t do it.
That discomfort is theirs to work through, not yours to wear. But the moment you let it in, it begins to do real damage. It has the power to hold you back. To slow you down. To make you second-guess the very thing God so clearly told you to do. Borrowed shame is heavy, and it will weigh down an assignment God meant for you to carry with joy.
So what do we do instead? We look at Jesus. The Word tells us that He, “for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame.” Look closely at that word “despising”:
καταφρονέω kataphroneō to despise – to think down on, to disregard, to refuse to give something weight or power.
Can you imagine? It does not say Jesus pretended the shame of the cross was not real. The humiliation was real. The pain was real. The public disgrace was real. He simply thought down on it. He refused to let it have weight. He fixed His eyes on the joy waiting on the other side, and would not let the shame govern Him for a single step of the journey.
And do you understand who Jesus is to you in this? He is not a Saviour who cannot relate. They spoke about Him. They gossiped about Him. They slandered Him and abandoned Him and held Him up to public shame. And He despised it all. So when you feel the weight of other people’s disapproval, you are not carrying something He never touched. You are carrying something He has already overcome.
That is your invitation too. Be like Christ. Set your eyes on the prize: the joy, the purpose, the God-given vision in front of you. And despise the shame. Think down on it. Refuse to hand it any authority over your obedience. And then keep moving forward, one faithful step at a time.
Because here is the truth that turns the whole thing around: what others see as disgrace, God is using for your glory. The very choice they are so uncomfortable with may be the exact path He is using to build something beautiful in you and through you. Their stares cannot stop what God has started. So do not slow down to make peace with someone else’s discomfort. Hallelujah! Keep building, keep going. The shame was never yours.
Pray The Word
Heavenly Father, thank You that the shame of the cross had no power to stop my Saviour, and that in Him it has no power to stop me. I set down every bit of borrowed shame: the disapproval, the cold stares, the silent judgment of others. I refuse to carry what was never mine to wear. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on the prize You have set before me, and to despise the shame just as Jesus did. I will keep moving forward in the very thing You told me to do, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Speak The Word
I refuse to wear shame that was never mine to carry. Other people’s discomfort with my obedience has no power over me. Like Christ, I set my eyes on the prize, I despise the shame, and I keep moving forward. I will not be held back, slowed down, or made to second-guess what God told me to do. What others call disgrace, my God is using for my glory, in the name of Jesus Christ!
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