Love That Person

Study The Word

Matthew 22:37-39 (KJV)
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.”

Let me share something about the Christian journey that we do not talk about nearly enough. On this journey, somewhere along the way, you have to meet yourself. You have to come face to face with who you actually are, and learn to accept and love that person. And it is an ongoing thing, because as you keep changing and growing into more and more Christlike versions of yourself, you will be introduced to new versions of you. Through all of that changing, it remains so important to know yourself, and to love yourself.

Now I know that for some of us, “love yourself” can feel like an uncomfortable phrase. So let me anchor it where Jesus anchored it. When He was asked for the greatest commandment, He gave us three loves held together: love God with everything in you, and love your neighbour as yourself. Do you notice the quiet little measuring rod tucked right into the command? “As yourself.” The love you are meant to extend to your neighbour is calibrated to the love you carry for yourself. And in the Old Testament too, the measure by which we were to love another was by how much we loved ourselves. So this tells us something the church has sometimes been shy to say: healthy self-love is genuinely important. Love for God, love for ourselves, and love for others: the three belong together.

And let me be careful about what kind of love we are talking about, because the word matters:


ἀγάπη agape love – The God-kind of love; a willed, settled choosing of someone’s good.


Do you understand? This is not vanity. It is not self-obsession or pride. Agape is the deliberate, faithful choosing of someone’s wellbeing, and you are allowed, even commanded, to extend that same God-kind of love to the very person God made and redeemed when He made and redeemed you. Loving yourself rightly is not selfishness. It is simply agreeing with how God already feels about you.

Now, can I be honest and tender with you for a moment? I know what it is to struggle right here. There was a season where I could have told you with full conviction that God loved me, and yet I did not love myself. I leaned on the acceptance and validation of others just to feel some sense of worth. So when I talk about learning to love that person in the mirror, I am not speaking theory. I am speaking testimony. And I want you to know that the Lord wants to heal that in you, just as He healed it in me.

So let me take you to the quiet places where this love is really tested. It is tested when the lights go off, and when you sit with yourself, truly, by yourself, with no audience. It is tested when you celebrate your wins, and when you honestly reflect on your losses. It shows up when you consider the moments you could have handled better. It shows up when you face the gap between who you pretend to be and who you truly are. And it shows up when you ask yourself the bravest question of all: how do I actually want to show up in this life, and what would I think of myself on my very last day on this earth? I know that is a harrowing thought. But it is a necessary one. Because it gently pulls us toward living honestly, and toward becoming someone we can be at peace with.

And here is the reason all of this matters so much. Through every bit of it, the highs and the lows, the quiet moments and the loud ones, you are still the one person who will be with you for the rest of your life. You are guaranteed your own company forever. So does it not make sense to get to know that person, to work on that person, to be at home with that person? Are you truly happy with who you are? Listen, that is not a vain question. Everything else really does start there.

So here is my encouragement to you, and it is simple. Love that person God made. Like that person. And commit to gently improving that person, every single day, not from a place of self-rejection, but from the same grace God has lavished on you. Hallelujah! You are someone worth loving, and the journey to wholeness begins the moment you agree with Heaven about that.

Pray The Word

Heavenly Father, thank You that You made me and redeemed me, and that loving the person You made is not vanity but agreement with You. Where I have struggled to love myself, or leaned on others’ validation to feel worthy, heal that in me as only You can. Help me to meet myself honestly, to face the gap between who I pretend to be and who I truly am, and to walk that journey held by Your grace. Teach me to love You, to love myself rightly, and to love others from that same place, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Speak The Word

I love the Lord my God with all my heart, and I love myself rightly, just as He commanded. The love I carry for myself is the God-kind of love, not vanity, but agreement with Heaven. I refuse to lean on others’ validation for my worth, because I am already loved and valued by God. I have the courage to meet myself honestly and to grow from grace, not from self-rejection. I am at peace with who I am becoming in Christ, and I love that person every single day, in the name of Jesus Christ!

Soul Wellness: An Introduction To Receiving Healing In Your Heart
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